Not everyone’s version of a good Thursday night is the same. I went to an online seminar about grief and loss. This would be several of my friend’s version of hell. Not me. I always loved the power of shared experience. No one knows like someone who knows.

If you aren’t already seeing @thejessicajanzen ripping it up on Insta and FB, I highly encourage you to do so. linktr.ee/jsjanzen

She talked using visual illustrations of a few things she’s lost over the years: identity as a fitness expert and single woman, relationships, hopes and dreams, things you like to do, jobs, covid losses, and her biggest loss was her baby. I found this totally impactful.

She was able to take the pain of losing him and turned her, “Why God, why?!” into, “So now what?!” and that helped her take the pain to create change. This woman has raised a million dollars for the hospital where her son died. And what I instantly loved about her was how she was authentically herself when she talked about her own journey with suicide.

The 1% tweaks can change our lives forever. I have a friend going on a journey with psychedelics and hopes it will be the “answer” to her trauma and hurt. It’s never one thing. The magic bullet only comes in the  form of something painful or traumatic. The fix, the cure, the hope, the reconstruction is daily work. A marathon, never a sprint.

More of Jessica’s suggestions:

  • Write out one small thing you can do to improve a pain point.
  • Write out positive thoughts you can actually believe.
  • Listen to the nudges you get in your heart. Follow them.

Accept your grief – cultivate joy & healthy habits – why your table matters (who you sit with) – authenticity – pain as purpose – dream big … rinse and repeat

And sit with it. You must honour your grief like a house guest and know that it will leave.

Some of Jessica’s resources: Motherless Daughters, Dr. Caroline Leaf, Atomic Habits by James Clear

For myself – and anyone else profoundly affected by loss – that’s one great evening.

Join me and my gang of joy machines at facebook.com/surrenderliving

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